Thursday, January 8, 2009

Day One was hard. Way, way hard. I pity anyone who had to speak to me on that morning, for it would not have been a pleasurable experience. I was thankful of my corner desk with its high partitions as I slunk down, sipping at my water (damn this giving up caffeine bullshit) and hoping that nobody would speak to me. As the day wore on, it was at about midday that I suddenly started to feel human. And then I realised that what I meant by feeling 'human' was actually feeling as though I hadn't been on leave, at all.

Oh, the joys of being back at work.

Day Four has finished and I am officially back in work mode, with a calendar jam-packed with meetings and the stress creeping into my brain and my body.

Bollocks.

I have actually been giving quite a bit of thought to work over the Christmas break, and thinking about the prospect of working in this job for the next 12 months has made it pretty clear that it's not where I really want to be. I had my doubts about taking the job in the first place for this same reason, however I don't regret accepting it at all. It has forced me to grow some balls, and while they are still tiny, it is a vast improvement over my previous lack of balls. And being an official part of Management looks fancy on my resume.

But, yes, I don't want to stay here, so I have formed a bit of a mental plan. How I love mental plans. If Mental as Anything and Simple Plan formed a joint band, they would be called Mental Plan. And because my mind wanders like this, I am now watching Mental as Anything videos on Youtube. Whatever happened to Yahoo Serious?

Plan: keep working through until my three weeks leave in February. My calendar is already planned out for this time, with the meetings, and some training, and general shit. Then, I'm in Thailand until the beginning of March. And when I get back, I am going to start checking out my options. A former co-worker has given me the name of a recruitment agent who helped him land a job where he is earning a shitload more than me, for doing system work, so he is worth a shot too.

Before I turn this into yet another boring work ramble (oops, too late!) I will just say that the prospect of moving to another job shits me, when I feel so settled, but the idea of being a people manager who finds people stressful for years makes me unhappy. So. Whatever.


Meanwhile, Beardie is convinced that this shirt from Threadless makes me appear to be a psychopath, whereas I think that it is certifiably hi-larious. I may just have to wear it to work and find out.

5 comments:

guinness222 said...

Love the tee Shirt, but Quantas may have a hard time with it you know. So far as the work thing DO NOT put yourself in ANY situation where you are "stuck" with a job. Someone once told me every single one of us should have the attitude that WE are our own company, and our company makes money by swapping it's services for money. We NEVER "work for someone else".

Rugby Weather said...

That T-shirt is pretty funny, but don't wear it to a childrens birthday party. It might not go over to well!!

Mark said...

Meh. It's hard to be scared by a cartoon knife. Now if you had a shirt that said "manslaughter always ends in laughter" - that would be interesting.

Congrats on getting teh balls. I knew you had 'em in you. And good luck job-hunting. I thoroughly recommend postgraduate study if you want to get paid for doing nothing.

blahblahteacakes said...

I'm on team Hilarious. All the way.

And I actually like my job, but it was exactly 3 hours before I felt like my two weeks leave had not happened. Sigh. Work sucks.

RAT said...

Mr. Guinness, that is a great attitude to have. I think I need to look at the bigger picture, and realise that changing jobs isn't the end of the world. And stop stressing so darn much.

Rugby Weather, sure it will! Homicidal kids are the best kind!

Mark, why do I not yet own that shirt? Shirts relating to murder are so much fun. And postgraduate study would be great, however I don't have any pre-graduate study under my belt (being the supreme quitter of uni) which may pose a problem. I quite often think about uni and all of the things I should have studied but didn't. I'm currently wishing I'd studied psychology. I'll probably change my mind soon.

blahblah, woohoo for Team Hilarious! And yes, work sucks majorly. I booked in a heap of leave for this year to try and make myself feel better about being back there.