Saturday, June 7, 2008


  • I do not really want to mention the Lady Business from yesterday. Suffice it to say, it was about as pleasant as getting naked and rolling around in hot coals, and I never ever want to go back there ever ever again. Ever never ever. I suggested to Beardie that maybe at some point over the next two years I should become a prostitute, because then I'll become desensitized and won't give a rats who checks out my business. I'm not sure that he would be overly happy with this, but it definitely warrants some thought.
  • Going with the theme of watching movies to completely put me off my holiday plans, last night we watched a delightful movie called Return to Paradise. Not quite Thailand, but close enough, and the lesson I have learnt is that if I am thrown in prison and the media catch hold of it, then there's the chance that they'll hang me, just to make an example of me. Even if Vince Vaughn does try and save me. So hooray for that. I am going to Blockbuster to ask if there's a movie called I Went To Thailand And Had A Super Fun Time And Didn't Go To Jail Or Die.
  • Just when you thought that it was impossible for me to become a bigger nerd than I already am, I have signed up to play World of Warcraft. And by "signed up", I mean I am playing a free 10-day trial, because 1. it is free, and 2. I said I would give it a try because Beardie loves it and wants to have 10000 of its babies. Observations so far:
    • When people call you a "noob", they do not mean "oh, you're new? How cute!" They mean "U R LAME I H8 U."
    • It is entirely possible for your whole day to disappear and for you to realise that you have achieved diddly squat.
    • It is entirely possible for your RSI to become about 12 times worse in the space of a few hours.
    • I think that 95% of the WoW population must be around the age of 12, going by the conversations (u r gay) and the many attempts made to Pick Up the laydeez. Except is it a laydee, or is it not? Who can tell!
    • It is all good fun, but I suspect that maybe it is not for me. We shall see.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

I love the word 'noob'. I use it all the time in talky conversation and have to remind myself that it's not a proper word. At least I'm not yet saying 'Lol' instead of laughing - when that happens, we're all screwed.

And, yeah, don't become a prostitute. It sounds like the solution to all the worlds problems but if L&O:SVU has taught me anything it's that prostitution is bad and they all die.

phishez said...

I thought of taking up prostitution. I mean, it would seriously be less demeaning than my current job. And I could work from home and still earn more!

Anonymous said...

I, too, am familiar with RSI :( But I can at least be grateful for the fact that it prevents me from playing WoW.

RAT said...

blahblah, ooh, people who say 'lol' out loud are the worst! And after mentioning my noob story to a couple of people at work I seem to be copping it quite a bit. As long as it's friendly and they're not trying to tell me they hate me. Oh, and I'd forgotten the lessons of SVU. Duly noted!

Phishez, how easy would it be? Easy peasy. I'm just not sure if I could handle telling future kids (if I end up with any) "and this photo here is from when mummy was whoring herself for cash, little Billy."

Mark, I have been doing all sorts of complicated hand manoeuvres to stop the RSI from affecting me too much. They seem to be working. But I suspect I will have to stop the WoWing if my eyes continue to look so red and itchy.

Anonymous said...

Show me your hand manoeuvres! There's a vlog idea.

RAT said...

My camera cable will be arriving either this week or the next, so there could very well be a dodgy video of me twisting around like Peter Garrett sooner than you think...