Sunday, June 1, 2008


When you are planning a trip to Thailand for later in the year, there are certain movies that you shouldn't watch. The Beach, and Brokedown Palace, for example.

I have just watched both.

I think I may have picked up some good tips, for example:
  • Don't befriend any strange men, for fear of inadvertently becoming part of their international drug smuggling plans.
  • Don't willingly join a commune.
  • If you've failed on point number one, and you're in a Thai prison, COVER YOUR EARS while you sleep.
  • If you're going out with a pretty French girl, don't cheat on her with the White Witch from Narnia. I mean, seriously.
  • If somebody is half-eaten by a shark and your commune buddies think it's a good idea to shove him in a tent until he dies because they don't like the noise he's making, THERE'S SOMETHING AMISS.
  • If everything starts to turn a bit Lord of the Flies, it's time to leave. STAT.
  • If your best friend tries to take the blame for a narcotics charge, so that you can go free, you don't just leave and then go back to your pretty American friends, college, life, etc. You stay in Thailand until she's free too, alright? Who leaves their friend to die in prison, really. WHO?
  • Um. If you have never seen either of these movies, I am very sorry for completely spoiling them for you.
  • And perhaps the ultimate lesson of all, if a quite obviously crazy man kills himself by slashing his body all over the place, and you discover that he's left you a map to follow, don't follow it. Common sense really. Due to the craziness, and the cutting, etc.
Sheesh, and here I was thinking all I would have to contend with was ladyboys and ping pong balls. WRONG.

7 comments:

Mark said...

Jealous much! By all accounts Thailand is very cool. Especially if you have the constitution to handle the spicy food, which is meant to be both cheap and incredibly delicious.

Oh, and bring a wife back for me.

RAT said...

Mark, you can totally come. I am going to come up with a super cheap itinerary which is jam packed with adventure and excitement and maybe a side trip to Cambodia with the temples and the landmines, etc.

And generally I am a total spice piker, but everything's different when you're on holiday, so I'll undergo all sorts of punishment. And what sort of wife do you want? One of the ping pong ladies?

Mark said...

lol, no I don't want to get Bill Huntered like that. Plus I'm coming now so I'll pick one out myself.

RAT said...

Ok, sweet. Book at least two weeks off at the beginning of November, ok? And I will have a permanently burnt mouth, and you will be wed. Hooray!

Mark said...

Hmm. That might conflict with marking duties at the end of semester 2. I'll have to wait and find out the exact date the essays are coming in.

Miss Devylish said...

You make me laugh forever and ever. And I want to go too!

RAT said...

Ooh, we can have a big blogger travel thing! And then we can all blog it. This sounds awesome.