Friday, May 15, 2009

Weight loss and fitness: THE JOURNEY*.

[cues Shannon Noll music]

Actually, not all that impressive really. Ten weeks ago, I started wearing a pedometer constantly** and writing down every little bit of exercise I did. I also started exercising, which in itself was a Big Deal for the girl who likes to sit around in fat pants feeling lardy.

I joined up with a website and started recording what I was eating. I stopped buying lunches and social club chocolates and energy drinks and iced tea and lattes and butterscotch hot chocolate with marshmallows and buttery raisin toast for breakfast. This was A Change, and all of a sudden I had shitloads more cash. Funny that.

I cleared all of the crap food out of the house and replaced it all with super healthy goodness. Beardie gave me two Easter eggs this year, and I have eaten one so far, except it took me a month to get through. Yes, a month. I became so jam-packed with fruit and vegetables that I would probably make a hearty addition to your winter stew.

Sigh. And all this because Thailand made me feel podgy.

The Outcome:
  • My stamina is up and upper. I can jump around all over the place and my face is only 50% tomato-coloured, instead of 800%.
  • I have muscle tone in place of jiggle. Well, there's still a bit of jiggle, but a bit of muscle tone, too.
  • I lost weight. Based on BMI, I picked a target of 56kg. As of today, I am 56kg. After Thailand, when I started this thing, I was 63.5. It is kind of freaky that this whole thing has worked out exactly within the ten weeks of the work fitness challenge, but hey, I am down with it.
  • I'm back to the weight I was before I started my binge drinking Journey at 18. It's pretty cool, but I'm a bit peeved that a lot of weight seemed to come off my rack. I liked my boobs, but oh well. They're still there, but a bit smaller.
  • Not many of my clothes fit me properly anymore, and my jeans are all saggy around the arse.
The Lessons We Learn:
  • I could, in theory, go onto a diet of pies right now. However I am kind of unsure how to function like a normal human anymore, and will have to keep recording everything I eat, at least for a little while.
  • I could, in theory, sit around like a lazy git and watch my newly-developed stamina go to shit. However I'm kind of keen to keep it up for a while longer, and I'm starting a 9-week running program next week which will most likely kill me.
  • Most of the snacks I used to eat and consider healthy are actually really shitty for my health. If I become one of those preachy nazi health nuts, can you please punch me in the face.

*The extreme overuse of the word 'journey' on Biggest Loser-y type shows makes me cringe, big time.
**Cannot wait to take the bitch off.


Mark said...

Wow, RAT. Willpower: you have it. As one of those people who will never have to lose weight, I feel sorry for you. It must have been a lot of hassle.

Oh well, I should go eat some instant noodles before I leave for the pub. Mmm!

PS: thanks for the helpful illustration. That's one sexy softball-shaped stomach :)

Mazz said...

It's refreshing to read about someone who's trying to lose weight for self-betterment and health reasons (not because they want to look like something out of the latest Pussycat Doll video and live on the Gold Coast-ew).

RAT said...

Mark, you are a lucky boy. Though as somebody who has always had a pretty awesome metabolism too (I should really be the size of a house with the amount of shit I eat) maybe you will one day discover that the pudge has just appeared, like I did? Maybe just avoid Thailand, with it's ice cream parlours and awesome curry goodness. Cheers for the pity though.

Mazz, hello! And thanks! Though I wouldn't say no to the body of a Pussycat Doll, I would just minus the tiny skirts and constant high kicks. Actually, if I could do that with my legs maybe I'd throw in a random high kick occasionally, just for the hell of it.

Anonymous said...

That pic is the first thing to make me do a genuine lol in 2 days!

Bless ya, take it easy princess x