Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Life update:

Two weeks into the ten-week fitness thingo and my Bangkok bulge has pretty much gone. Hoorah! I expect that the sudden shock of going from HUGE meals and an abundance of ice cream to my usual stressed self who runs around and forgets to eat has done the trick. Now to work on my Chrimbo gut for the remaining eight weeks, which I am thinking won't be as easy. I've started taking tennis lessons (despite being incredibly uncoordinated) and have had my arse kicked at the gym a few times, too. I am even being careful with what I eat and resisting the temptation to jam chocolate in my mouth when my energy is feeling low, or when people piss me off. "Just eight weeks to go" is my internal mantra as I eye off the blocks of white chocolate Kit Kat in the supermarket.

Meanwhile, Beardie has decided he also wants to lose some weight, and has started the Tony "Creepy" Ferguson diet like the big cheater that he is.

Would you trust this man?

I am powering through books at the moment, and have actually started reading on the bus again after a long stint of listening to music and staring wistfully out the window. I have just started Everything is Illuminated by Jonathan Safran Foer, which has made me laugh out loud several times so far and therefore I love it, and just finished reading Sputnik Sweetheart by Haruki Murakami. If you have read this book, can you please explain what the frick the end of it means, because I was confused as hell. I think I was distracted by the drawn-out beginning and wasn't expecting it to turn all crazy.

Today I have had a productive day off, as I have had my car serviced and been to visit my mum for lunch. In today's episode of The Sordid Lives of the Mountain Dwellers!!!!:

[In David Jones, my mother, brother and I walk around the menswear section, looking for t-shirts for my brother.]

Mum: A lot of the clothes here are very gay, aren't they.
Me: MUM.
Mum: Well they are. [Mum checks the price on a shirt nearby, splutters loudly]
Me: Hmm?
Mum: THIS SHIRT IS $60 [several DJ staff glance in our direction]
Me: [ushering Mum away] they've got a mix here, some expensive clothes and some cheaper clothes too.
Mum: Hmph.

[a moment passes]

Mum: Our nextdoor neighbour's house was struck by lightning during the storm the other day. All of his chickens died.
Me: Oh, really?
Mum: Mm.

Never a dull moment. I am off to re-learn how to drive a manual car so that I can eventually upgrade from my Little Green Shitbox. I am going to count how many times I stall it, and crunch the gears. I expect it will be many.


Lucy said...

1. That guy's photo screams child molester.

2. I love, love, love the mountain dweller chronicles. I think there should be more R.A.T Mum stories.

3. I also love a good bunny hop while driving manual. With gears there's too much stuff going on, hence why I can only learn in an auto. Baby steps.

Mark said...

Bangkok Bulge is different to Chrimbo Gut? Dude. Sucks to be you.

RAT said...

Lucy, yes, he is the ultimate creepy weight loss man. But it seems to be working, I think Beardie's lost 4 kg, or something like that. Hooray for creepy men...? I will try to include more Mum stories, however I do worry that I am portraying her as completely mental. She is only partially mental. And there is WAY too much stuff going on in a manual car. So much to remember. I just want it to become second nature so I can get over this shitty learning phase.

Mark, totally does. The different guts signify different periods in my life where I have gained a bit of weight, and then left it there. Thailand most recently, and then Christmas before that. And then I'm down to the basic beer gut of my youth. The first two seem to have gone pretty easily though. This next one will be a toughie.