Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Yesterday, we went to the Currumbin Wildlife Sanctuary.
  • An eagle hit Beardie in the head with its wing
  • A rainbow lorikeet hit Beardie in the head with its squirty poo
  • I got scratches all over my wrist from little scratchy bird claws
  • We both got various animal poo all over shoes
  • I touched a kangaroo, it twitched violently, and I almost crapped myself thinking that it was going to beat the crap out of me
  • We both said "ewwwwwwww" loudly after looking at the gigantic crocodile's disgusting foot growths
  • We commented on the incredible reek of the koalas, and vowed to never touch one, never ever never
I meant to take the video camera with me and make the Best Home Video Ever, but discovered that the battery was flat right as we were leaving. Devo! But we have decided that the next school group-type adventure will be to Underwater World, and I won't be making the same mistake.

I have both today and tomorrow off work because at the moment I am trying to destress, or something like it. In actual fact, I have no idea what to do with myself. I think I am going to have my nails turned into something respectable, before I start taking out peoples eyes with my massive talons, and I will quite possibly also go and waste my cash on shiny things and clothes. Maybe some shiny clothes. I also suspect I will sit around and watch the DVD's I've been buying but not watching, and then play online games like a super geeky nerd geek. Oh, and of course some piano playing, in the desperate hope that I will magically turn into Ben Folds.

And at the end of it, I better be fricking stress-free, or else I'll be pissed. And stressed.


Anonymous said...

Before you get the talons done, you should hit Beardie in the head with them and say "It wasn't me! The eagle did it!".

As for any stress, I'll remind you of some wise words the Loved One offered me on one particular holiday:

"Ohfergodssake! Will you bloody well cheer up and stop your blubbering! We're supposed to be having FUN!". Best...holiday...ever! (well, except for the massive food poisoning that turned every orifice into a high-pressure piping bag).

I hope this is of some help.

lucy said...

Yeah, get a manicure. French polish!!!!

Animals, especially Australian animals are indeed foul smelling and potentially could disembowel you in a single swipe (I'm talking to you kangaroos and emus.)

Poor Beardie though, did you have to hose him down before he was allowed in the house?

Mark said...

Underwater World? We have one of those here too. The scuba-diving plus sharks package is neato.

Glad you survived your networking ordeal ;)

RAT said...

montsnmags, thank you for your wise advice! I don't really let it get to me too much, and I'm usually pretty good at not taking my work home with me. I just seem to be finding myself thrown into all sorts of crazy situations lately. Fun, fun times.

Lucy, yes, I have very French polish. The bastards started chipping on the day after the manicure though, which blows. And I only bled from the cuticles on two fingers, which I think is quite good? No, I didn't hose him down, as unfortunately I was also wearing the pungent fragrance of our Australian widlife. We smelt terrible together.

Mark, I haven't been to Underwater World since I was a wee lass. I am looking forward to prodding sea cucumbers, if they still let you do that.