Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Tomorrow I'm attending an afternoon workshop as a representative of the agency I work for. I could possibly be required to "network". This will be quite difficult due to the following:
  • I'm a social retard
  • There will be no beer available
  • My attempts at conversation result in convulsive giggles
  • Talking about work is about as much fun as stabbing my tender bits with a spork
  • Bleurghhhhh
  • Etc.
Alas, I am going nonetheless, and I'm going to try and ditch my standard hobo outfit and dress like a Professional, Young Woman. Or something. And if I can score a couple of business cards then I'll be able to go back to work and flash them around like I've been successful at this whole networking thing, even though I'll have gathered them by stealing them from back pockets and handbags.

Wish me luck!

Actually, don't bother.


lucy said...

You will be just fine missy, whenever I have to do work function/networky things I follow 2 rules. Pretend I'm my boss, he has a lot more power and confidence than I have so I'm a CIO for an hour or so, then I fake an urgent work call so I have to leave early. Works every time...

Mark said...

Ugh, networking. Not only do you have to pretend you are smart, confident and friendly, you also have to put up with the most unbelievably boring stories. To be avoided at all costs.

As for coping strategies, I usually try to find someone I can compliment and/or ask for advice. You don't have to talk about yourself that way.

phishez said...

Does that hobo have any teeth?

RAT said...

Lucy, oh how I wish I'd read this before I went. Instead I ended up on the verge of harrassing the lady who said she processed payments for adult sites with my inane questions. "You have to make collection calls to people who have bought porn and can't pay for it? WOW!" etc. Pretending I was powerful and faking important calls would've been far, far smarter.

Mark, I just asked everyone else questions about what they did and that worked ok. And then if they asked what I did, I told them and they just nodded politely because of how super boring it is, and then I quickly asked a question about them again. Whether I made any Important Work Contacts remains to be seen.

Phishez, I think that would be a no. All the better for holding cigarettes with, methinks.