Sunday, September 13, 2009

Thinking about packing the blog in. I could come up with a few different reasons, whether it's wanting to free myself of the worry that somebody from work will find me on here having a bitch-fest, and get me in a world of shit, or that I just find it difficult to come up with my usual gibberish these days. Or maybe it's the fact that my ex (mentioned in this post) e-mailed me and implied that somebody reads my blog and reports information to him (or some such shit). This last part doesn't worry me, but it just makes me feel weary and exhausted. I am used to this from when we were together and since we have been apart.

So maybe it's mostly that I don't really want my life on display here anymore, for whatever reason.

I do have a lot going on right now, hinted at previously with comments about spending time in my head, and most of it really can't be written about here. Which kind of sucks, because writing is great therapy, but when you can't use your diary as a diary then it doesn't really have much purpose anymore. I would love to just vomit it all out, I'm sure I would feel much better. Alas.

Then again, maybe I'm just having an off day and tomorrow will be sunshine and lollipops. Maybe?


Anonymous said...

I hope, purely for selfish reasons, that it's just an off-day, but if it's not, well, there's nothing wrong with packing it in for a bit - just leaving it here as a placeholder, in case you want to come back. I would not try to dissuade you of it (as if I'm in a position to [rolls eyes at self-conceit], particularly as someone who has regularly - well, twice - gutted his own blog of, in his case, regretted ramblings, and now has it as all form and no content.

However, I still wish for sunshine and lollipops first, second...sunshine first, then maybe a couple of hours, then coffee, and then maybe lollipops, or another cup of coffee. Mmm, coffee.

nailpolishblues said...

I'm hoping it's just an off day too.

What an arse your ex is. So creepy and stalkerish.

Anonymous said...

I hope it's just an off day, but I also get exactly where you're coming from.

Blogging makes great therapy, but kind of exposed therapy. And I found as soon as I started censoring myself to deal with the exposure, it stopped working. Wanting to post but being too worried about who's reading is just the shittiest feeling ever.

That said, I vote stay, just because you're one of the few blogs I still read that I actually enjoy because it's good, and not because trainwrecks are kind of fun.

Mark said...

Yeah, I've slowed down a lot but I still do the occasional post because I know people are reading. We'll still be reading.

At any rate, good run. said...

Lousy ex-boyfriends and their lousy prying into things that no longer and never did concern them. Fucks.

Maybe you can start a new one and leave some secret hints for us to find it haha...

P said...

Sorry to hear of your dilemma - ex stalker boyfriends are the pits!

If he is the main reason for you feeling uncomfortable expressing yourself on here then maybe starting afresh is the way to go. Then ask the blog friends that link to you, not to.

That's how I came across you again - I was blog surfing and found you from a link on another blog. If I hadn't clicked it and recognised your writing style, I'd be none the wiser that you were blogging again. Just a thought.

I hope it all works out for you. You're one of the good ones and it will be a sad thing if you leave completely - but understandable.

Anonymous said...

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. But we would all understand. you've been blogging for ages and sometimes things are just not fun anymore, especially when someone's monitoring you.

Eve said...


I was hoping that you would may have just been having a blah blogging day.

It's your space, so you need to do whatever you're comfortable with chicken.

Mark said...

No more RAT? That's OK. I don't use Twitter much any more, so if you have FB feel free to add me there. Eve's in my friend list so you can add her too. Of course I'd understand if you'd prefer your privacy.

miss v said...

...Just checking if it'd be sunshine and lollipop yet u.u

Hope all is well, Miss R.a.t.