Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Here is the spiel.
  • Last relationship: ended badly. Very badly. Very super badly. This is what happens when you go out with somebody for two years when all of your inner bits keep telling you not to, and you ignore them, like the stubborn bitch that you are. But hey, these are my lessons, look how much I have learnt, etc.
  • Foolishly, foolishly started going out with a boy Very Very Soon after the break-up. You see, because my last few months with the ex had been pretty much void of any happyfuntime, I thought I would do what lots of young, single girls in their twenties do, and find myself some happyfuntime. But then I discovered that he was actually quite smashing, and my efforts to be an absolute slut have once again been unsuccessful. Damn!
  • I decided that not having my licence was altogether shit. So I went out and got it. And then I bought an old bomb of a car which has a squealy fan belt and a crumply number plate from where it smashed into another car, once upon a time. And I started driving it around all over the place and endangering innocent motorists and pedestrians with my P-plated enthusiasm. Though I am yet to crash into anyone or anything, so HIGH FIVE.

    (And hoo-freaking-rah for never having to get public transport on Christmas Day AGAIN.)
  • I applied for, and was successful in gaining, a higher-paid position at work. Twice! And the lovely cash made me very, very happy, but what made me happier was that I hardly ever had to talk to twats on the phone! Joy! I have said for a while that this will be the last customer service-based job that I ever do, and I am one step closer to living the dream. Unfortunately, I still have to talk to twats at work, and I probably have several thousand pages full of blog fodder just in the agency temps who are constantly flowing through my workplace. Sigh.
  • After going out for just under a year, Beardie (yes, Beardie) and I decided to co-habitate. This happened last month. And now I'm sharing all my stuff with A BOY. Ewwww.
  • I missed blogging, and then I sort of forgot about blogging, and then I realised that I had no hobbies and decided to start blogging again. I am trying to get back into the blog frame of mind, where you can't help but look at any situation without thinking "I wonder if I could blog this?" Maybe I need to buy a shirt to remind me.
And there we have the entire last year of my life summarised by six dot points. How freaking depressing. And now that's out the way, let's move onto something far more exciting.

Give me a minute. I'll think of something.


Enny said...

If he's so lovely that you're living together, why was it foolish foolish?

Also, does he know about the blog?

Still so excited to have you back!!

audrey said...

Allow me a moment of frustration. You broke up with someone and ended up with someone else shortly after and are now living with him. Meanwhile, I can't get a date if my life depended on it. Even the homeless woman scabbing money off me the other day was yabbering on about her boyfriend. It is so bad that I am actually considering seducing the boy who sleeps on my best friend's couch every night because he's too cheap to rent a room somewhere.

And even then there's no guarantee he'll say yes.

Miss Devylish said...

I'm w/ Audrey.. all I have are the ones who flirt w/ me and promise me thing and then oh yeah.. they have a girlfriend or a job in LA or .. SOMETHING that basically makes them unavailable so WHY are they flirting when they don't mean it? Sigh... this is why I have a blog and a cat. Do like that shirt tho. xo

Mark said...

Audrey's right. Your happiness is irritating. You should be as lonely and frustrated as we are, or at least pretend to be so that we can feel better about ourselves as we watch our lives pass by unfulfilled.

lucy said...

Ooh, you have a bearded man? Well done, those are delicious.

audrey said...

God, he's bearded?!?! JEALOUS.

Steph said...

Whats with the beard love? Bearded guys are like clowns....Creepy!....Although, I'm sure yours is just lovely. I'll be leaving now.

lucy said...

Steph - The beard love is inexplicable, but it's my little personal revolt against (bloody) metrosexuals.

You know, masculine lumberjack type thingys totally kick a metrosexuals arse.

RAT said...

Enny, it seemed like the silliest thing ever at the time, and I told myself over and over that it was way too soon after splitting up with someone, hence the foolish foolish. But it has all worked out well, which is lovely. And yes, he does know about this blog. And I have already told him that if I am annoyed with him, it will be appearing on the internet.

Aw, Audrey. We all know that this is because boys are overwhelmed by your awesomeness and super cleverness. And you deserve somebody who is equally awesome and super clever, and very few of them exist. I mean, the homeless lady may have a boyfriend, but do you really want a boyfriend who eats his own scabs??

Miss Devylish, men are bastards. Whenever I used to go out on the town, I was only ever approached by men who wanted me to accompany them to the carpark for some Quality Time, and I never met anyone lovely. Beardie turned out to be a winner, but what were the odds? One in a zillion bazillion. If I find a great guy who lives in AmericaLand I will send them to you, STAT.

Mark, see next post. Mission accomplished?

Lucy and Audrey, thank you. Yes, his beard is very lovely.

Steph! Maybe you have got the wrong mental picture of the beard. Are you thinking of crazy old man beard? Beardie's is very lovely, and not crazy. Ooh, I just found the best beard picture on the internet, I think I will need to do a post dedicated to the awesomeness of beards.

Lucy, lumberjacks! Oh yes.